


i see in blue, oh and you see everything in red

by leadbitter



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Bristol Rovers F.C., M/M, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 07:13:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10238753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leadbitter/pseuds/leadbitter
Summary: he leaves, and you're not quite sure what happens after that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> title is from 'be the one' by dua lipa because it fit too well not to use.
> 
> if you got here by googling yourself, do yourself a favour and go

Matty Taylor loved Bristol Rovers. But he loved football and the joy of playing more. It was selfish to think that he’d stay forever, at least stay as long as you did ( _because we’re forever, aren’t we?)_ but you believed it all the same.

 

He wants things bigger and better than Rovers and some part of you understands that.

 

(The rest of you stands with the fans in the terraces, screaming at him, at City, at anything red, burning his shirt, because he’s a _traitor_.)

 

*

 

You’re not sure who’s more surprised: the fans, you and the boys, the gaffer, or him. The rumours start early in the day, so you call him ( _they’re all lying, aren’t they? aren’t they matts? you wouldn’t leave us, not to them. you_ wouldn’t.) and he’s says that he’s thinking about it and you don’t think he’s lying, because he doesn’t lie to you. That turned out to be code for _I’ve already made up my mind_.

 

*

 

It circulates so quickly you hardly have to time to blink, and there it is: _**BREAKING NEWS:** Matty Taylor signs for Bristol City from Bristol Rovers_.

 

He’s smiling in the [picture](https://twitter.com/bbcbristolsport/status/826540687768313856/photo/1), gripping a new shirt: a shirt that was the wrong colour, had the wrong number. The comments on the picture are brutal and cruel ( _money-grabbing cunt, traitor traitor traitor,_ pain masked by jokes) and you agree with every single one of them.

 

(You wish that you felt some sort of guilt.)

 

*

 

You get texts from Ollie and Locks and Manse, all of them the same ( _why why why why why_ ), as if you’re the captain, as if you’d somehow know.

 

Except one thing: you used to know, know exactly what Matt was thinking. The boys would turn to look at you when he was doing something odd along the wing, because you knew what he was trying to do, and ten seconds later the terraces would be singing.

 

*

 

He scores on his first start for City and you try not to feel bitterly grateful when they concede 3 goals. You won’t admit to the other boys, but you save the picture of his celebration to your phone and take great pleasure in deleting it, wiping it clean.

 

*

 

The first game without him, you draw 0-0 at Rochdale and it’s been so long since you haven’t lost away, that you don’t even take into account he isn’t there until Locks sits down next to you on the bus, where he normally sits.

 

You think Locks recognises the look on your face because he gets up and moves to the back of the bus. You can hear him attempting to bully Billy out of his seat next to Ollie, and it aches because as familiar as this is, it is something that will never quite be the same as it was.

 

*

 

Billy tries to tell you that _you can still be mates ellis,_ _none of us’ll judge you. look at me and flinty, we get still get along just fine_ but you don’t want to be mates anymore, and it has nothing to do with anyone but you and him.

 

You tell Billy that. He just shakes his head.

 

*

 

He’s on the bench so much, that you’re not sure why he bothered going if he was never going to play. If he stayed with you, he would have started every game and scored six goals in six.

 

You start to wonder whether the move was based on nothing more than a cruel, childish game: dangling him in front of your eyes, taunting _we’ve got him so you don’t_.

 

It’s City after all and you can’t rule anything out.

 

*

 

You can’t imagine leaving Rovers. Blue and white quarters are seared into your chest beneath the shirt; you think that maybe this is what love feels like, when you hear your name shouted inside The Thatchers End, the feeling on grass beneath your legs when you roll over.

 

There is nothing better than pulling your socks over your shin pads, yanking on the shirt, touching the pirate on your chest briefly in the tunnel.

 

You can’t help but marvel over why anyone would willingly lose that feeling.

 

*

 

You haven’t hit the back of the net since Northampton and you’re not sure whether it’s you, or him, or both. That game you were breathing so heavily and running so fast, you’re surprised that you didn’t faint. The ball smashed in, three times in seven minutes and you didn’t think it could get any better. He dug his head into your shoulder and you felt like you could fly.

 

You scored again in the 54th minute.

 

*

 

He hasn’t tried to contact you since the end of January, and you start to think you should text him, just to check, make sure he hasn’t accidentally burnt his hand again or forgot to buy milk or-

 

Lumley tells you that you shouldn’t have to be the one to make up, because you didn’t do anything wrong, he did. He says that if Matts is going to call you, he will.

 

Even though Lumley had barely known him, talked to him maybe three times, you believe him because he’s that kind of person.

 

*

 

He texts you the night before the Oxford match. _Good Luck._

 

You think, _Good luck? You’ve got some fucking nerve. You fucking traitor._

 

You don’t want to think about what _Bristol Post_ would say if they knew you texted back.

 

 _Don’t_ , is all you say and he doesn’t reply.

 

You don’t play, but Ollie and Sincs both score and suddenly you’re eight games undefeated, the beginning of something better.

 

*

 

He doesn’t text again, and you’re glad. You don’t want to pretend that either of you can somehow fix this, because him leaving was the end of it and you think that he knows that, at least you hope he does.

 

Matty Taylor was going to leave anyway, and you see that now, the boys see it now, the supporters see it now. And yes, anywhere would have been better than Bristol City: Cardiff or Oxford, hell even Swindon would have been easier, but this is the way it went and no one could’ve stopped it.

 

*

 

Here’s the thing about you: you are stubborn and difficult and determined.

 

Here’s the thing about him: he is compliant and naïve and ignorant.

 

It was never going to work.

**Author's Note:**

> -Matty Taylor moved from Bristol Rovers to Bristol City on the 31/1/17, becoming the first player to do so in 30 years  
> -Rovers and City are huge rivals, so u see why this is a problem  
> -i highkey hate taylor and lowkey hate ellis but I felt this story was necessary so i'm letting that fact slide  
> -also i'm pretty sure taylor and ellis are still [mates](https://www.instagram.com/p/BRikLnjDUIQ/?taken-by=matty_taylor14&hl=en/)  
> but lets forget that for a minute so I can write angst (this pic is fucking hilarious mind)  
> -i couldn't find the exact picture of Taylor holding the shirt that i meant, but the one i linked over 'picture' is pretty much it  
> -the cameos are made by Ollie Clarke, Tom Lockyer, Lee Mansell, Joe Lumley, Stuart Sinclair and Billy Bodin  
> -Taylor scored in the 14th minute against Derby, his first start for City. City scored 2 more goals in the first half and conceded 3 in the second half. The game ended 3-3  
> -Rochdale was the first away match Rovers hadn't lost since October  
> -Flinty is Aden Flint, who plays for City. He and Billy Bodin played together at Swindon in 2011. idk if they actually still talk, but they like each others photos on insagram and that's practically the same thing  
> -Ellis Harrison has played all his senior games at Rovers, bar his very brief loan spell at Hartlepool United  
> -Ellis scored four out of five at Rovers 5-0 home win against Northampton Town. Bodin scored the other.  
> -Joe Lumley joined on loan thirteen days before Taylor left  
> -Ollie Clarke and Stuart Sinclair scored against Oxford at Rovers first away win since October, ended 0-2.  
> -This contributed to Rovers unbeaten streak  
> -Ellis didn't play, and wasn't on the bench at Oxford  
> -Taylor's from Oxford, and used to play for them ages ago  
> -Swindon Town are Bristol Rovers secondary rivals  
> -this was saved as 'i hate matty taylor but I'm also sad' and i think that says it all
> 
> xx eve
> 
> tumblr: [stoneims](http://stoneims.tumblr.com/)  
> -


End file.
